What gets in the way of effective communication? How many of us are willing to admit, “Me!” Beyond that, how many choose to do something about it?

“The basic building block of good communications is the feeling that every human being is unique and of value.” —Author Unknown

People Matter. Why not invest a few moments to explore a few obstacles that may keep us from effectively being heard and understood?

1.  Language. Culture.
Language goes beyond the challenge of trying to speak English to someone who only understands German. Even when we speak the same language there are challenges. 

True story:  My parents emigrated to NYC in the 50’s from Cuba – with a minimal understanding of the English language.  Back in the day, men had their shirts custom made.  A talented seamstress, my mom was accused by her boss of ruining some shirt collars.  Typical of those unsure of language, she smiled and quietly said, “I, no.”  He heard, “I know.”  Insulted by her cavalier attitude, he threw the collars at her and demanded that she correct her work for “no pay.”  Mom was outraged at the disrespect.  She stood up, left hand on hip, waving her right hand and shaking her right index finger left-to-right, she shouted back, “I. NO!”  Get the visual?  Get the point?

Sometimes what we see and hear is not what it seems.

2.  Distraction
I won’t say much here except… what part of texting, emailing, phone answering, and sorting papers on your desk speaks: Go on, I’m listening; what you say matters?

3.  Agenda
What is the purpose for the communication?  Have you set the right expectation up front? 

What’s the point? Sometimes employees share a frustration with their boss simply to vent.  The boss on the other hand, assumes the employee doesn’t know how to do it and “fixes it”.  Employee leaves worse than when he/she arrived. Listeners beware! If the speaker hasn’t made their intention clear, don’t assume; ask.

Got Time? Someone drops in your office and asks, “Have a few minutes?” Perhaps you only have 15 minutes but you neglect to share that with the other person. Partway through their conversation you cut them off and end abruptly. Ouch.

4.  Fear of conflict
There are certain personalities that struggle to express disagreement. There are other personalities that don’t allow for disagreement.  How safe is the space you create for communications?  Can you agree to disagree at times?  Do you validate a person’s contribution regardless of whether you choose to act on it?

5.  The Written Word
Yes, sometimes, without actually “hearing” your tone of voice and “seeing” your body language, a written message can be totally misunderstood.  With the advent of texting, instant messaging, social media, etc. we have become “brief” communicators.  Did you know that when you capitalize words in an email, it may be perceived as shouting? 

Say What?  What people say and the meaning behind their words matters. If you find yourself struggling with miscommunications, consider your part.  Not sure if it’s you?  Take ownership.  Assume it’s you anyway. Invest in your personal development.

Just a bit of preventative coaching…

About the Author:
Maggie Sabatier-Smith is Called To Action; she coaches leaders to be Strategic Communicators living a Balanced Healthier Life. A speaker, coach, and catalyst for change, Coach Maggie attracts clients that are focused on personal development, compelled to live a life that matters and willing to take action. Together they partner to identify mission, cast a vision, remove self-defeating patterns and create the habits of a successful leader.